Don't Lose Yourself



"13) Don’t lose yourself. 
Don’t let being the parent of a special needs child create or reshape your identity. We are many things, being the parent to a child with special needs is part of our identity. But it shouldn’t be all of our identity. When you focus all of your life, all of your contacts, all of yourself around your child and their needs, who you are can get lost. Find things in your life you enjoy doing, a glass of wine, a hobby, shopping for yourself."

 I have yet to figure out what the true definition of a "special needs" child is, exactly.  But in lieu of a well-fitted definition I think number 13 from 20 Things every Parent with Special Needs Kids Needs to Know may be the closest!  

 I know that in the first two years of my son's life my identity was lost--totally.  And after four years i'm only recently in the process of re-finding and re-defining my identity.  It's not easy. It is more of an uphill battle than I would wish!  

 Where are you in this process?  What do you do to combat having your whole identity in your special needs child?  If you've been a parent to a child with medical complexities for over ten years, what advice would you give to those of us still in the trenches?

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