Can the Broken Find Love?

As I was standing in line at the gift shop at Motts Children's Hospital, I couldn't help but overhear the content of a phone call: the lady was a mere two steps behind me.  In a firm, reassuring voice she expressed, "he's been confirmed trisomy 21 but we're just fine with that.  We've talked about it and we are going to love him no matter what. He's ours and we just can't wait to meet him tomorrow." Her posture, her tone of voice--everything--spoke of joy.  She was not the mom-to-be, but likely the grandma-to-be.  And that grandma's heart is bottomless.  As if that joy was catchy my heart was filled joy too.  In the next moment a line from one of my all time favorite PBS shows, Call the Midwife, came to mind.

In season 2, episode 4, Jenny a nurse and Jane an orderly visit St. Gideon's--a home for kids with various birth defects, and located next to a biscuit factory.  One of Jenny's patients, Ruby, recently gave birth to a baby with spinda bifida.  And as was custom at the time babies with birth defects were put in an institution.

Upon arrival Jenny and Jane are welcomed by one of the residents with a disability, Jacob, who is an exuberant host, and offers the ladies tea. The ladies decline.

A little time later Jenny returns to St. Gideon's with Ruby and Douglas, parents to the new baby with spina bifida.  Though Ruby refuses to enter Douglas joins Jenny in the tour.  Curious about the community in the Home Douglas asks Jacob what it's like to live at St. Gideon's. Jacobs answer? "There's a biscuit factory next door. We get the broken one's."    No matter how many times I watch episode two, my eyes tear up at this scene. Broken biscuits for broken kids.

Jacob is a happy, go-lucky boy whose girlfriend, Sally, has Down's Syndrome.  Jacob and Sally are two of the, "broken one's" in the institution.

In a bit of irony the story line takes a jaunt from the baby with spina bifida as the ethics of Jacob's relationship with Sally Harper is raised--do they have the right to be in love. And the clincher? Jacob, played by Colin Young, is a disabled actor who has cerebral palsy; his debut performance being this show.  Sally, played by Sarah Gordy, in real life, has Down's Syndrome.

In school nearly every student--at one time or another--debates euthanasia, abortion, various civil rights, etc.  Always hot topics.  But never once did anyone, neither student  nor teacher, debate whether or not a person with disabilities or syndrome has a right to be in love. And yet the conflict is real.

Immediately most would say, "of course they have a right! Everyone has a right!" But what if your "typical" child wants to date a person with some sort of disability or syndrome?  Or vice versa? Are you going to choose to, "love them no matter what?" Will you choose to treat them as equals, as they see each other as equal?  Are you going to be, "just fine?"

I am not writing this because I know someone who knows someone who has a child with a syndrome/disability. I am the one who has a child with a syndrome, and a corresponding a pile of limiting diagnosis--for life.  But not one of those limitations should bar him from finding love--someday.  He's only four right now.  But will his syndrome dictate his ability to find love?  Will he be relegated to a single life by force because of his syndrome?  Who will teach their daughters to see beyond the diagnosis and love the man?  Sometimes this very issue keeps me up at night.  Anyone can love a child, but can anyone love the little, red headed man with Noonan Syndrome?  To many, The Broken One.

I'm so inspired by Colin and Sarah's life stories.  In the days that Rhyse's unknown future paints a black mark across my brow I will remember those two.  I thank the Lord for hope, and for those who do choose to love no matter what.  And in the days where I have nothing but hope I smile at the thought of my little man with a little lady by his side--someday!











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