Medically Complex and the Stories of Our Lives

I have never wanted to be a superhero. Superman wears a cape and red underwear to perform his civic duties. Batman wears a mask and special gloves to save the world. Wonder Woman wears a silk bikini and magic bracelets to ward off the bad guys.  Spiderman wears pajamas for his strength, and on and on and on it goes.  Superheroes. Beings that always win the battle, no matter what.  I've never been a fan of superheroes, and now in my forties, even less. Why don't I like superheroes? I do not like superheroes because there are no battle wounds, no life long scars, no emotional responses.  No brokenness.  I cannot relate to such a superficial, one dimensional reality. I would love to wake up one day and be "over it.'  To put the years of pain, fear, and trauma as it relates to my little son with Noonan Syndrome completely to rest--to find that reset button, or magic wand.  Instead the twists and turns of my journey keep dragging my toes into deep, ...

Last night I laid in bed unable to sleep--so many thoughts on my mind. Not one thought, not one particular anxiety, just thoughts.  Frustrated I decided to see if Netflix is Android enabled on my new itty, bitty Galaxy 3.6 Note. If Netflix was possible I would bring up my account and find something to watch in bed.  Really, the idea seemed incredulous.  In my 70s childhood I never even dreamed that someday I might be able to lay in bed and hold a three inch "TV" in my hand, minus any cords or antennae, and watch a movie!   But I did.  I watched a movie that I had recently added to my instant queue--knowing it would be my "kind of movie." The clean, girly, sappy kind of movie. BBC makes the best! Within the first couple of minutes I was in tears.  Not just tears, but rolling, strolling down the cheeks kind of tears.  This movie hit me on all kinds of levels, and eked open a lid allowing months and months, not to mention yea...

I recently read a shared post called, " How to Survive being friends with a Special Needs Parent " by Fiona Russo.  And though I agree with one of the feedback responses who said using the word, "survive" seemed a bit patronizing, once you get past the title the rest of the article rings quite true--at least for most of us! Friendships are so hard: I have written about this in a previous blog. But this is still a topic of which I cannot really wrap my mind around for more reasons than, "being a special needs parent."  Being social, apparently, comes easy for some personalities and not so easy for others. And you know of whom i'm talking about: introverts.  The "strong" (or so I have read), silent type who have a myriad of words floating around in their brains, but rarely get let out of the gate for self expression. And yes, I am a self-confessed introvert. If I could have chosen my personality I would not have chosen introvert!  But, qu...